Besides being born a rule-follower, I was also born with a "Type A" personality. In fact, it is probably more like "AA" or "AAA." I would venture to guess I could earn as many "A's" as possible. So maybe that makes me like a 4.0 GPA, meaning "General Personality Average" instead of "Grade Point Average." I can't help it. I think I inherited this propensity toward order from my mom. Let me put it this way... when I see something like the following picture, I feel I have reached my happy place.
Having this particular personality obliges me to ensure that everything is in its proper place, and it means that I need (not want, but need) my plans to be made and set in stone as soon as possible. Which is why I have been a bit of an angry person the past few days and have not posted very often recently. In light of the overall message of my Perspective post, I fooled myself into believing that I have trained my brain to think with an appropriate level of perspective. Wrong. Besides being "Type A," I am apparently also "Type C" = Complainer.
I don't know what's gotten into my head recently, but I do not like the way it makes me sound when I listen to myself. Matthew's class schedule has intensified a bit, so I am home alone most of the day. I don't usually have any particular plans, but suddenly I find that negativity and sarcasm quickly leap to the foreground of my internal dialogue. For instance, when I walk into the kitchen first thing in the morning for breakfast, my initial thought is, "Great. I love waking up to a sink full of dishes that I have to wash by hand." When I go to get dressed and realize the hamper is full, I think, "Awesome. A massive mountain of stinky clothes is just what I wanted to conquer today. I'm especially excited that I get to do so with the world's tiniest washing machine and no dryer. And the best part is, it will only take me three days to finish this batch, so by that time, there should be more dirty laundry waiting for me!" And then, when I need to use the loo, I walk into our bathroom and say to myself, "Gee. This is the gem of our flat. I can only hope that these moldy walls give me an upper respiratory infection. If not, at least I get the pleasure of inhaling the mildew and seeing it sprout up in new patches every day."
See? Aren't you annoyed by me already? I'm annoyed by me, and countless similar smart remarks float around in my head all day. By the time Matthew gets home, he is not in a particularly happy-go-lucky mood from working hard on class projects. Compounded by the fact that there is no daylight after about 4:30pm, an unpleasant thought can quickly transform into a toxic situation. So, this is what I have decided. I will try and kill this negativity using what I am naming "The Thanksgiving Method," in honor of the upcoming holiday. When I pour my bowl of cereal in the morning and see those dishes scoffing in my face, I will choose to think, "I am so thankful for dirty dishes because they show me how much food I have to eat." When I'm tempted to curse the laundry pile for growing at an unnatural rate, I'll say, "I am so thankful for these clothes because they keep me from running around naked all the time, and they are stylish (sometimes.) Not to mention, they keep me warm." Besides the recurring thought of, "I probably need to call the maintenance people about this mold. It really is unhealthy," when I visit the bathroom I'll think, "I am so thankful this is not an outhouse. The good Lord knew that Kelsey Kathleen could not deal with a hole in the ground or critters or walking in the dark/rain/cold to a separate building just to employ the facilities." I know it won't be easy, but I think a healthy dose of The Thanksgiving Method will help me to become a more amiable and cheerful person. We'll see.
Speaking of cheer, the holiday season is officially upon us. I'm sitting in the Cambridge Central Library, which is located more or less in the center of a shopping mall, and I am watching Christmas lights twinkle down in the atrium.
Again, an ugly and ungrateful thought pops in my head. "Darn. I miss my boxes of ornaments, my Christmas tree, my stockings, and the rest of my holiday goodies that are in an attic in Tulsa, Oklahoma." But, <insert Thanksgiving Method here> "You know what? Christmas isn't about those things. It's about Christ and family and love." Like it did for the Grinch, it's becoming painfully clear to me this year that "maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more." And I am going to be overwhelmingly blessed this Christmas season with visits from a lot of people that I love. Here is a brief overview of our travel schedule for December and January.
Dec. 15th - 18th: Hubs and I explore Bruges and Brussels, Belgium
Dec. 18th - 27th: My family comes to visit and we hit Paris, London, and Cambridge
Dec. 28th - Jan. 4th: Matt's family comes and we explore London, Cambridge, and Barcelona
Jan. 4th: Matt starts his second term but misses the first day of class on the 3rd
Jan. 14th - 22nd: Jenna and Allison and I have a girlie adventure in London, Paris, and Cambridge
No time for rest and relaxation! We've got nations to navigate! I am immensely looking forward to a nontraditional, less materialistic, more European Christmas.
Hopefully I will have some new pictures to put up soon. Thursday we are going to a Thanksgiving lunch at the graduate student center, but I might be so excited to see mashed potatoes and dressing that I forget all about taking any photos. I experienced this "no-time-for-pictures-we've-got-food-to-eat" phenomenon when we went to the Gourmet Burger Kitchen last Saturday night with our friends Reuben and Emily. Best (and only) burger and milkshake I've had since we have been here!!! Yum. Well, until next time!
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| Sorted. Color-coded. Clutter-free. Bliss. |
I don't know what's gotten into my head recently, but I do not like the way it makes me sound when I listen to myself. Matthew's class schedule has intensified a bit, so I am home alone most of the day. I don't usually have any particular plans, but suddenly I find that negativity and sarcasm quickly leap to the foreground of my internal dialogue. For instance, when I walk into the kitchen first thing in the morning for breakfast, my initial thought is, "Great. I love waking up to a sink full of dishes that I have to wash by hand." When I go to get dressed and realize the hamper is full, I think, "Awesome. A massive mountain of stinky clothes is just what I wanted to conquer today. I'm especially excited that I get to do so with the world's tiniest washing machine and no dryer. And the best part is, it will only take me three days to finish this batch, so by that time, there should be more dirty laundry waiting for me!" And then, when I need to use the loo, I walk into our bathroom and say to myself, "Gee. This is the gem of our flat. I can only hope that these moldy walls give me an upper respiratory infection. If not, at least I get the pleasure of inhaling the mildew and seeing it sprout up in new patches every day."
See? Aren't you annoyed by me already? I'm annoyed by me, and countless similar smart remarks float around in my head all day. By the time Matthew gets home, he is not in a particularly happy-go-lucky mood from working hard on class projects. Compounded by the fact that there is no daylight after about 4:30pm, an unpleasant thought can quickly transform into a toxic situation. So, this is what I have decided. I will try and kill this negativity using what I am naming "The Thanksgiving Method," in honor of the upcoming holiday. When I pour my bowl of cereal in the morning and see those dishes scoffing in my face, I will choose to think, "I am so thankful for dirty dishes because they show me how much food I have to eat." When I'm tempted to curse the laundry pile for growing at an unnatural rate, I'll say, "I am so thankful for these clothes because they keep me from running around naked all the time, and they are stylish (sometimes.) Not to mention, they keep me warm." Besides the recurring thought of, "I probably need to call the maintenance people about this mold. It really is unhealthy," when I visit the bathroom I'll think, "I am so thankful this is not an outhouse. The good Lord knew that Kelsey Kathleen could not deal with a hole in the ground or critters or walking in the dark/rain/cold to a separate building just to employ the facilities." I know it won't be easy, but I think a healthy dose of The Thanksgiving Method will help me to become a more amiable and cheerful person. We'll see.
Speaking of cheer, the holiday season is officially upon us. I'm sitting in the Cambridge Central Library, which is located more or less in the center of a shopping mall, and I am watching Christmas lights twinkle down in the atrium.
Dec. 15th - 18th: Hubs and I explore Bruges and Brussels, Belgium
Dec. 18th - 27th: My family comes to visit and we hit Paris, London, and Cambridge
Dec. 28th - Jan. 4th: Matt's family comes and we explore London, Cambridge, and Barcelona
Jan. 4th: Matt starts his second term but misses the first day of class on the 3rd
Jan. 14th - 22nd: Jenna and Allison and I have a girlie adventure in London, Paris, and Cambridge
No time for rest and relaxation! We've got nations to navigate! I am immensely looking forward to a nontraditional, less materialistic, more European Christmas.
Hopefully I will have some new pictures to put up soon. Thursday we are going to a Thanksgiving lunch at the graduate student center, but I might be so excited to see mashed potatoes and dressing that I forget all about taking any photos. I experienced this "no-time-for-pictures-we've-got-food-to-eat" phenomenon when we went to the Gourmet Burger Kitchen last Saturday night with our friends Reuben and Emily. Best (and only) burger and milkshake I've had since we have been here!!! Yum. Well, until next time!
Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteI know what ya mean girl. I have those days, we don't have a dishwasher and I hate it. Also, we share our laundry room with 600 females, which I also despise. When I complain I think about something that happened in Africa. We were at this house with a big family. They had bought us soda, which is expensive, and I opened mine up ready to drink. Then, I dropped it and soda went all over their couch and items. I felt so bad because I knew they didn't have a lot and I just ruined a nice piece of furniture for them. The dad replied "It's okay Kali, that just shows people we have enough people who love us and keep our house dirty, and that is all that matters, the people in our home and relationships" (or something like that...). I was so humbled by that because I freak out when people come over. I am rude to Pat if the house isn't clean enough and get in bad moods. Yet, there is this family who has hardly anything that was happy that I spilled something on his couch.
Okay, not sure if I am making my point, but I think ya get it. Haha.
You have a lot to be grateful for, girl. Block Satan out and keep pushing.
xoxo
Well I'm ashamed to say that not only did you get your Type A personality from your momma but you also got the ability to "complain with the best of them" from me also. Okay enough confessions. I will also say that I think we also have been blessed to have a healthy self perspective that when we really hear what we are saying or thinking we can have a good conversation with ourselves (not sure what that means that we talk to ourselves? - I guess as long as we don't hear a bunch of other voices we might be okay) to say "okay, snap out of it and look at the bigger picture. You do have clothes, food, shelter, health, family and most importantly we know where our future lies. Also, as mimi has shared with me through the years when I was feeling the same way as a stay at home mom as you do right now (don't know how many more diapers I can change, baths I can give, groceries I can buy etc, etc) that this is part of life and just living life. However, aren't we so thankful we have our lives to live and enjoy with others. So keep your chin up sister, this too will pass. One day you will look back on this time and will be able to be thankful for what this taught you. Always learning new lessons all through life. God's mercies are new each day. So thankful for that especially when I am a grumpy goat.
ReplyDeleteI love you! Thanks for always reminding me through what you are learning!
Love
Mom
Kelsey, Don't be discouraged. I can tell you that we all go through these gripey times in our lives. We all, from time to time, lose sight of all the blessings that God gives us so freely. When I go through this, I read Ephesians 6---put on your armor! Then I put on some praise music---some raucous Crowder. It helps me to re-focus on the One who loves me through it all. I love you and you have many people here who are praying for you. "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."(Romans 15:13 NIV)
ReplyDeleteLove Donna
I know exactly how you feel! During this time of year last Christmas while I was in Cambridge, it was getting dark abou 3:30, and I was having negative thoughts as well. I went to work in the dark, and came home in the dark. It was an intense and truly challenging moment in my life. Your Thanksgiving method is a good way to get past these thoughts! I did something very similar. Just make sure to sit out in the sun while it is out during the day. It helps a lot!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I hope you enjoy your time while you are there! I have absolutely loved reading your blog and remembering my time there with my husband. Their school year can get pretty intense, but remember to count your blessings, and look forward to travels, family time, and being in a new country!
By the way, the GBK is by far the best place to get a burger in Cambridge.... hands down. Also, make sure and try Tatties. It is a great lunch place!
So again, I feel like we have SO much in common! I love your posts they make me feel like I am not the only one who hates laundry and doing dishes! Sounds like you are going to have some wonderful times ahead! Miss you and hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!
ReplyDelete